This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
