Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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