gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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