Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
