where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
