so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
