I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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