Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
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