I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
