yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
