so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I will pee on everything he values.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
