Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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