Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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