Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
