I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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