Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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