Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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