She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
