Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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