so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
