and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
