i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
