He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
