do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
