no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
