She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
