he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
