They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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