Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
