I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
