I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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