he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
