you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
did you just send me my own nude
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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