think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
