Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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