I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I want to fling myself into the sun
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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