Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
