he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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