I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
