I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
