he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
