i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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