Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
