i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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