Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
