Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I want to walk on stilts...naked
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
