PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
