I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
