I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
