I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
